Rules dating my daughter


02-Mar-2018 12:55

She was so happy to see me...running toward me as if I was the light of her world. I remember how my heart warmed to see my beautiful little girl that day and so many day. I did all the things for my daughter and my son that had never been done for me.When the grief overtakes me, I remember moments like those that cannot be taken away from me. I did all the things I thought good moms do--including abstaining from alcohol, my family's curse.I feel I have failed at something more important than anything else in life, motherhood. I didn't want my kids to have a drunken mother and I was the only one of my four siblings that did not succumb to alcoholism. I know she was only 9 years old when my sister died at age 35 with 3 small children. Sometimes I feel: "My daughter would rather it was me that died as little as she cares for me." When my sister died, I know I had a lot of grief and a lot of fear because the cancer that killed her runs in families and the doctors were treating me like I was a cancer waiting to happen.I wanted them to be proud of me and I was the only one in my biological family to become a college graduate. It was a terrible time filled with fright and grief.I thought it would be good for them to connect to some of their distant relatives on my mom's side of the family.Also, I did not have money for Christmas and this was a good way to get around the problem.I wish she would forgive me...only she would talk to me I would beg her forgiveness for hurting her..this, is, indeed what it was.

He told me about this anger management issue on our very first date. But once the 3 girls came into our home, I do believe the stress on him caused the anger problems to arise.I don't know why I didn't invite my daughter to come. I felt if my daughter came on this trip, she would take all the attention away from the girls because she always had to be the center of attention.



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