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A long conversation with his mother helped him understand why some Black women in the family were hurt by his decision."When I was able to step back and put myself in their shoes, I could understand their perspective, even though I didn't agree," Hargrove says. Some of Hargrove's in-laws made it known that he wasn't welcome.He chose to live in California because he feels the state is more accepting of interracial couples and wants his kids to grow up in a diverse environment.When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.
Harvey Hargrove, Jr., 41, a sales representative in Sacramento, California, knows the pushback that can come from relatives when we marry across race lines.
"He told his family, "I am marrying this woman, so either you're on board or you're going to have to watch from the sidelines,"" says Meador.
"I knew we were going to have struggles as an interracial couple. He was willing to give up those relatives."Eventually some relatives came around and even danced at the wedding. They didn't attend the marriage ceremony, and Michael hasn't spoken to them in two years.
Though Black men are still twice as likely as Black women to date outside their race, it seems more and more of us are becoming open to dating beyond the color line.
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It's complicated Toya Lachon, 43, of Washington, D.
C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship."I'm like, Yes, girl, do that," says Lachon. Women are taking control of their happiness."Dating interracially can still come with backlash for both Black men and women.
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