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He’d never once mentioned his status, and I’d assumed he was negative. Huddled together in the corner of a shrieking pub full of whiskey-soaked drag queens, he confided in me a status he’d told no one. He’d read an article I’d written online and had assumed I was positive too.I kissed him and grabbed his hand, and stole him away from the drag queens to go home and have him to myself.
After he told me his status that night, I said: “Sure, we’ll just use condoms.” The next day I lay curled up on my bed, trying to slow down my thoughts.
This is despite the fact that a HIV guy on medication, who is undetectable, is virtually no risk of infection – and a far safer option than sleeping with a guy who doesn’t know his status.
“The key to dealing with this problem is a frank and open discussion about HIV: that is, more HIV education in schools, college and universities, and in other social contexts, so that people understand how HIV is contracted, how it can be prevented, and the implications that it has for one’s life,” states Professor Rusi Jaspal.
Like those guys who repress their sexuality for the ‘straight’ life of wife, kids and IKEA flat-packs, it can’t be healthy to imprison such a storm.
“Closely-imprisoned forces render and destroy”, is the quote from Charles Dickens I learnt in sixth form. Unfortunately, there are powerful reasons why a guy might keep his diagnosis private.“And he gave me HIV,” he dropped into the tequila-laced conversation.